Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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