Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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