if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
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Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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