i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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