told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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