I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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