He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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