like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
