The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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