Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
