the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
