i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
