Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
