So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
