I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm getting married
To pizza
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
