I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
