We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
