So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
