You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
