she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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