K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
