I wanna bring you to show and tell
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
