it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
