I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
