Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
