You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
