I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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