Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
