Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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