i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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