We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
