trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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