I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
