I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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