don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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