sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
