8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I smell stomach acid.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize
