ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
