It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
