You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
