...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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