God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
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So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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