almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize