to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
