Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
