NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
honey bunches of taint.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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