So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
