In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize