the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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