oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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