And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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