the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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