With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
