New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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