Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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