i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
