I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
