There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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