Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
